**Update**

I know it's been awhile since I last posted, but I have some awesome news:

We're going to have a baby!!

Well, actually I'm going to have a baby (ha), but WE'RE going to be parents!! We found out in August right after we got back from a trip to Vegas. Even though I've had several ultrasounds and even heard the heartbeat, I think I have been in denial this whole time. After all of the emotional stuff I've been through during the year we tried with no luck, the fertility treatments and waiting, I felt like I was becoming numb. Last Friday, we went to our last appointment with the fertility doctor. I cried the whole way home because it had finally hit me: God had answered our prayers once again.  Every time I think about it, I'm just amazed at how gracious He has always been to me throughout my life. And this time He has come through for me (us) once again, but in a BIG way! :)

Yesterday I had my 1st appointment with my new OB in Little Rock. We got to see/hear the baby again. I wish I could do this once a week. ;)  

Here is a few pictures of the baby. They are from the fertility clinic since they were clearer than the ones we got yesterday.

This was when we got to hear the heartbeat- 168 bpm!

This is the baby @ 8w3d. I'm currently 9w1d.

Thankful Thursday

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately about our future. My thoughts have been consumed with us having children (or never being able to). 

"What if I never get pregnant?" "What if we have to adopt?" "If I get pregnant, will I continue to work full time?" "Who will watch our kids while we work?" "When will we move into a bigger house?"

Then it hit me. I've been so busy worrying about the blessing that I'm waiting on, that I haven't been enjoying all of the blessings I've already received!

I thought I would take a few minutes to give thanks for some of the blessings that have already come my way.

I'm thankful for....

*My family who loves me for the person that I am. 

*My husband- He has shown me the true meaning of love. :)

*My friends - I have friends that are always there for me and they would do anything for me.

*My dogs - They show me unconditional love every day.

*My job- Even though I hate my job sometimes, I'm thankful to have a career that always me to do something that I love AND get compensated really well. Also, my job provides me with incredible insurance that is paying for 80% of my fertility treatments!

*My church- I'm thankful that we found a church that we love- one that is bringing us closer in our relationship with God.

I could go on and on. And when you think about it, that's not a bad thing!

"Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; his love endures forever."

A Little Bummed...

This past month was my first cycle of fertility meds. Strangely, everything seemed to be working out perfectly. I even ovulated right on time! Unfortunately, I had blood work done today, and we found out that I am not pregnant. As much as I try not to let myself get upset, I always get emotional over this stuff. I will continue to pray and know that everything happens under God's timing. (That last part has been the hardest thing for me to come to terms with, but I'm working on it).

This may seem a little random, but I was watching Oprah today, and she said something that really hit home. This quote is paraphrased, but she said:

‎"It all boils down to one thing: our relationship with God. It's all that really matters. Surrender and stop resisting. Stop trying to change that which you cannot change. Be fully open to the blessings that you have already received and those that have yet to come to you. Stand in that space of gratitude. Look at where you are, how far you've come, and who you are. When you can see that, your life will change."

Soakin' Up Some Sun~ Pensacola Beach July 2010

My mom and I just spent a week in Pensacola Beach. ( Tommy recently started a new job and couldn't get off work). I definitely needed the time away from the stress of work and doctor's appointments / medical tests.

We stayed in one of the historic parts of Pensacola Beach. 

                                                

Ok. This is not what it looks like. :) It's a tar ball from the oil spill. 

The water looked fine, but you could still see these here and there on the beach.

Mom on the beach

                                       

Me trying to get a tan. Yes, I know I'm very white. Lol.

*We had some really good food while we were there.*

      

                                     

We ate dinner @ a fondue restaurant called The Melting Pot one night. It was very cool. My favorite was the dessert- The Flaming Turtle chocolate fondue. The top picture was all of the stuff we got to dip into the chocolate. Yum!!

                                    

This was our awesome steak and lobster dinner @ Jackson's. 

Lunch @ The Mellow Mushroom. - Great pizzas!

I love animals so I had to go the zoo in Gulf Breeze.

                                      

Me measuring my "wingspan".

Mom enjoying the zoo!

Me trying to pet a sheep. There was a little baby that let me pet him, but mom couldn't get a picture because he kept getting behind stuff when she got her camera out.

This llama kept following me. I really wanted to pet him, but I was afraid he may bite my hand off! Really cute.

                                      

Mom and I out on the beach right before sunset.

So beautiful and peaceful. :)

We had a great time shopping, hanging out on the beach, eating yummy food, and everything in between. The only thing I hated was being away from my husband :( It's okay though- we're heading to Vegas in a few weeks!

Let's try this again...

About a year ago I started a blog but never really got into keeping it up. I've always enjoyed reading other people's blogs, so I decided to give it another shot. I figured no better way to start off than to do a brief introduction of myself. :)

My name is Jennifer Stevens. I'm 28 years old. I live in Arkansas with my husband Tommy and our 2 dogs Lilly Grace and Lexi. Lilly is a 3 year old shih tzu and Lexi is a 1 year old peek-a-tzu (shih tzu/pekingese mix). They are our only "children" at the moment.

Tommy and I got married on June 20th, 2009 after dating for 2 years and a 1 year engagement. We got married at Garvan Woodland Gardens in Hot Springs, Ar. It was hot, but perfect! We spent our honeymoon in Maui. (amazing)

We are currently TTC our first child. I found out in July of 2009 that I have PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome) - which basically means that I have very erratic cycles due to cysts on my ovaries. We are currently seeing a fertility specialist for treatment of my condition. I just started my first month of fertility meds (CLOMID/ESTRADIOL) in early June. Right now we are waiting (and praying) to see if anything happens!

                                              Me and Tommy

Lilly and Lexi

                               

Us on our wedding day

                                       

In Hawaii for our honeymoon